Confessions
by Emma.Marie.Phillips
Summary: Reid/Hotch Reid is injured when the team misses an important piece of a information. Reid deals with his emotions afterwards and his thoughts about Hotch.
1. Chapter 1

He could feel something painful thumping in his chest as he glanced at his boss from the corner of his eyes. His boss never smiled, yet without smiles he was captivated. Reid let his eyes wander across the office space and take in his friend's faces. They were all focused on the case and suggesting reasons how the Unsub was doing what he was.

Moving his stare to the table, he tapped his fingers on the edge and felt his leg shake under the table. He felt the need to use again, but he was stronger than that. Reid knew that he shouldn't think about his boss in that way, but something inside his brain changed the way he took in the man's presence.

Pressing his lips together, Reid scrunched up his face and tired to figure out what it was that made his brain have faulty wiring. Liking your boss more than on a professional level was wrong and he made a rule to himself about that.

A tap on his shoulder made Reid snap his head up and examine the group's stares. "Reid, are you okay?"

Turning his head to Morgan, he faked a smile and nodded, "Yeah, just lost in thought. What if the Unsub chooses his targets through public places? Like grocery stores, post offices, or gas stations? He would have their phone number to look up their addresses."

They agreed that was probably how he was doing it and moved on. Reid felt eyes on him and glanced up finding his boss staring at him with concern. Averting his eyes, he inserted himself into Morgan and Garcia's video chat about connecting victims and places they frequented.

* * *

><p>As the team boarded the plane after they had finished the case, Reid stopped and looked back over his shoulder. The team, already inside didn't notice his hesitance on boarding. Reid felt that they had missed something, or that he had forgotten something, he wasn't sure. Standing there, he remembered, his letter for his mom. He'd left it in the hotel room and if he rushed back to the hotel now he could retrieve it in time.<p>

He turned to tell Hotch when he felt a presence behind him. Gulping in air, he took a step away from Hotch and nearly tripped down the stairs. "Hotch, I uh, forgot something back at the hotel and I need to get it. I can find another way back so you can leave now if you," he trailed off as Hotch stared at him.

"Go ahead Reid, we'll wait for you," turning around Hotch left him there in the doorway.

The letter was exactly where he left it, in the bottom drawer of the dresser and he thanked the housekeeping staff for letting him retrieve it as he left. Climbing inside of his taxi, he looked up, "okay, we can head back to," he froze.

Something wasn't right with his driver, he was taller than the man before and his hair wasn't quite right, "Excuse me I think I am in the wrong-."

"Nope, you're in the right one," Reid stared at the man as he turned with a gun in his hands. "Ya know, my brother may have been the one to start this, but I'm the one going to finish it. We always agreed if one of us got caught, the other would have to give one of the agents that helped catch us the same fate, well, a similar fate. Funny how these things work out?" his head jerked to the side before he pulled the trigger.

* * *

><p>They waited for over an hour when Hotch received a call from Garcia. A few SUV's pulled up with lights blaring away. Her voice was frantic and Hotch could barely decipher anything from it. "Wait, Garcia, what are you talking about?" He watched his team stand alert when he said her name.<p>

The words barely passed through his phone and he gripped it roughly and rushed off the plane and to one of the SUV's that just arrived seconds before. Grabbing one of the cars, he ushered the team inside and they were off.

"Hotch, what's going on?" Morgan pressed.

"Something has come up. Apparently our Unsub had a brother who helped him out," his voice was thin and knuckles white against the steering wheel.

"So, why are we going back? They caught him right?" Prentiss questioned.

Shaking his head, Hotch turned a corner barely missing oncoming traffic, "Jesus, Hotch!" Morgan hollered.

"The brother is dead, Reid killed him."

The SUV was silent for a few moments until Morgan asked it, "And Reid?"

"Reid, he's," Hotch paused trying to control his voice and emotions, "He's in intensive care. Apparently the brother shot him first.

They all inhaled deeply and turned their attention on the hospital they had arrived at. All piling out of the SUV and rushing the door, the agents entered the building. "Spencer Reid, where is he?" Hotch asked quickly and the nurse jumped back.

"Um, the a-agent? He is in surgery right now. I can let you now when he is out but."

"What floor?" Morgan pressed.

"The third, but you can't," she was forced to watch as the five agents strolled to the elevator and the doors closed.

* * *

><p>Shaking legs nearly gave out and all of the agents decided sitting was for the best. Garcia was ten minutes out of the hospital and Reid had been in surgery for four hours and counting. No one had moved besides using the restroom. A few more minutes passed and a very colorful woman exited the elevator sobbing.<p>

"Garcia!" Morgan rushed towards her and held her as she cried into his shoulder. As she cried, someone exited the doors they had been waiting for.

"I'm guessing you're the company of Spencer Reid?" they all nodded. "Okay, he is stable for now, but with the extent of his injury I can't allow you all to see him. Maybe just one or two for now."

"Is he awake?"

"What exactly happened?"

"When can we all see him?"

"He isn't awake just yet; he should be waking up soon and maybe tomorrow would be better for more company. As for now he was shot in the lower corner of his heart and it also pierced his left lung."

They nodded and agreed that Garcia and Morgan would see him today and the rest of them could wait till the next day.

When Garcia and Morgan returned to the hotel that they had stayed in before, they informed everyone that Reid was still as annoying as ever with his random facts and seemed to sound better than he looked.

* * *

><p>Hotch had been the only one that hadn't visited him by noon the next day. He was sure that he was busy preparing arrangements of transportation and dealing with the brother that had acted. Reid understood most of that but he still hoped that his boss would visit him before he was discharged.<p>

"Hey Pretty boy, what's with that frown? Are you in pain?" Morgan asked in a concerned tone.

"I'm fine, really," Reid squeaked through his throat.

Morgan didn't look convinced but he let it slide. "So, Pretty boy, when do you get out of this place?"

Reid cringed, "Not for another two days and after that I'm not allowed to work in the field. I can only imagine what Hotch is going to do. He'll probably make me take a few days off and then sit on the sidelines with Garcia again," Reid complained.

Morgan chuckled and patted Reid's knee, "Only because he cares about you."

Reid felt his heart stutter and hoped it didn't show on the heart monitor, "He does?"

"Of course he does, he cares for everyone on the team. We're a family," Morgan replied while staring at the game on the television that had returned from commercial.

"Of course," Reid muttered.

"Reid, Morgan," Reid's breath caught in his throat.

* * *

><p>Thanks for reading! I will update pretty soon! :)<p>

-**Emma M. Phillips**


	2. Chapter 2

Reid glanced over at the doorway and took in his boss's form. He looked like he always did, except the dark shadows under his eyes. Before he could open his mouth Morgan butted in, "Hotch, are we okay to leave today? I know the hospital wants him to stay a few more days, but we can take care of him at home just the same."

The two of them started discussing Reid's conditions and when a nurse came in they requested to have him released. Morgan and Hotch left his room for a few minutes to talk with the hospital staff and Reid was relieved to be alone. Hotch hadn't even looked at him when he entered the room and completely ignored his presence when Morgan started speaking.

Reid knew that he cared about Reid, but he didn't feel like it at the moment. "Pretty boy, you ready to go?"

Reid stared at his sheets for a few more seconds before taking a look at Morgan and Hotch in the doorway. Taking his chances, he spoke his mind, "No, I'm not. I think I should stay here until they really want to release me so I don't take a turn for the worse. Did you know that 47% of patients that check out too early end up in a worse condition than they started in?"

"Reid, are you sure? How will you get back?" Hotch questioned while staring at the younger agent with conflicted eyes.

"I'll get a plane ticket and yes. I think I need some time away from the office just until I can breathe without wincing and not having drugs pumping into my system."

Morgan protested a bit, but when Garcia arrived, he agreed. When all the agents had left, Reid exited his bed and signed the release papers before leaving. He caught the first flight to Vegas and headed to his mother. He didn't know why, but he needed to be away for a while and his mother's place seemed like a good escape.

* * *

><p>Two days after he arrived at his mother's, he received text messages and phone calls to the point he shut his phone off. He had asked the front lady to not tell anyone who called for him that he was there, stating that he was feeling under the weather and needed more time to recover with his mother.<p>

"I just don't understand why you didn't go back to work? You love it there don't you? I can tell by the way you speak of your co-workers, or friends. Yes, more like friends, or even family. Their all there for you while I'm not," his mother chattered.

"I'm not entirely sure, I want to return to work because I miss the team but," his face contorted to pain and sadness, "I think I'm scared."

"You were never scared before, so why now?"

Reid stared at his mother and then the floor. He didn't know the answer so how would he answer that. He had been shot before and beaten to death and back, why was this so hard? Had it even been the injury to begin with? Or had it started before that?

"Spencer Reid! How dare you do this to me!" Reid's head snapped up at Garcia's voice and his eyes grew large at the group of people standing in his mother's doorway.

Garcia launched forward and hugged Reid into her chest before pulling away and staring at his face. He still was looking at all of them. "Honey, why are you crying?"

Reid's eyes reflected confusion and he reached a hand up to feel the wetness that coated his cheeks. Fear crept into him and he tried to understand why he was crying. Was he in pain but couldn't tell? Why was he crying?

"I-I don't under," Reid stopped talking and wiped his eyes again and again trying to stop the tears. "Why am I crying? I don't understand," his voice was covered in fear and confusion.

* * *

><p>Thanks for reading! I will post the next piece as soon as I can. I have a bust weekend planned and the beginning of next week is finals so I apologize in advance for any delays :)<p>

Oh and I made up that random statistic Reid said and I do not own anything having to do with criminal minds except this tiny fanfiction.

**Emma M. Phillips**


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